March 9^th, 2010

It’s nice to see our friend Dru evolving into a more experienced Angeles City monger each day on YouTube.   On Day 46, he attends a “Banana Show” at Pony Tails Bar with one of his “friends”.  While I’m not sure about the whole “bringin-sand-to-da-beach” method, his choice of company was particularly beautiful.  (I think it was the same girl I commented on previously)

On Day 49, he meets up with a longtime AC monger named Evan, a.k.a “Kabayo” on the message boards.  I’ve known Kabayo for quite a few years now, and if you are ever in need of some hardcore barhopping tutelage, he is definitely a good choice.  He takes his barhopping and barfining VERY seriously, as I’m sure Dru can now attest to himself.

March 8^th, 2010

Emperor’s Lounge is located on the 2nd floor above Club Asia.  It’s really just an upper extension of Club Asia, much like Blue Nile Executive was simply an upstairs add-on to Blue Nile.   Sure, they tried to pass it off as a different club, but everyone quickly thought of it just as I described.  Emperor’s Lounge is no different.

The entrance stairs are to the right as you enter Club Asia, behind the first dance floor.  They feature spotlight dancers, slow dancing, and a runway walk with certain girls going one by one.   The décor does have an “Emperor’s Lounge” type feel to it, so I will give them that much.  When I stopped in Club Asia for my first time, last November, I don’t even think this was open yet, so I’ll have to check it out on my next trip.

Emperor’s Lounge, Angeles City, Philippines

March 7, 2010

Bedroom Bully checking in once again.  Since posting my first informative post on here, I’ve received nothing but positive responses from many people, through emails and YM’s, I’ve received a lot of “thank you’s”, “you keep it real” and “keep posting”.  So, with that said, I will continue to post my “Hints and Tips, and Things you’ll See and Hear” while in AC.
First I’ll start off with some info…it wouldn’t hurt you to learn a little Tagalog to help you on your journey, whether it be talking to a girl, getting your check after your meal, or things you might her these girls say, and you just sit there looking stupid, and the girls are laughing at your expense and you don’t even know it!
The only reason I learned Tagalog, and I mean the only fucking reason, was when I was in Korea for the first time, sitting at these Filipina Bars and there’s like a dozen girls there and I can’t understand a fucking thing that there saying, they would look at me, and then talk to there friends and then usually laugh or smile, this shit drove me crazy, so I began to learn Tagalog.  Now, I’m not fluent in the language, and I speak basic Tagalog, not the dialects from every different province, but I know more than enough to get an idea of what the fuck the girls are talking about right in front of my face, and when the girls realize that you speak/understand Tagalog, the use of Tagalog speak goes way, way down, and the English comes out, fucking hilarious.  After conferring with my wife (stunning Filipina) and Google (because her spelling isn‘t that great), I’ve got some more Tagalog words/phrases that you’ll probably hear while in AC…..

First, how to speak it properly, I’ll break it down how I learned it.  Ok, here’s a Tagalog word, “Kaunti”, I broke it down by the vowels, you would say it like this – “Kah-oon-ti”, this means “a little, or a little bit”.  This is how I self taught myself to learn/read/write Tagalog.  Simply break it down to It’s simplest forms.

Some other things about the Tagalog language,  the alphabet only has 20 letters, 5 vowels, and 15 consonants.  So understanding that, you’ll understand why it seems like it takes like 30 Tagalog words to say some of the simplest things in another language.

Ok, onto some words/terms you may hear…

Bola-Bola (Bo-la Bo-la) – means “bullshit”, like that’s/your fucking bullshit

Tanga (Tahn-gah) - means “stupid”, maybe you are

Ikaw (Ee-cow) – means “you”, like Bola-Bola ikaw, haha

OO (Oh-Oh) – means “yes”

Tahimid (Tah-he-mid) – means like “you, shut-up”

Maraming (Ma-ra-ming) – means “a lot”

Sinungaling, (Sin-uun-ga-ling) – means “liar”

Masarap (Mah-sa-rop) – means “delicious”, like “mag-masarap kantut ako, diba”, means “I’m a very delicious fuck, did you know”, haha

Mabaho (mah-bah-ho) – means “bad smell, stinky”, could be you, haha, take a shower you nasty bastard

Titi (Tee-Tee) - means “penis”, dick, cock, whatever you call it, I’m sure you have a pet name for it

Pek-Pek (Peck-Peck) – means “vagina”, pussy, cat, cock hole, sand box, wet jungle, death trap, whatever you call it

Puki (Poo-key) – means, the same as Pek-Pek

Kantut (Can-toot) – means “sex”, fucking, fuck, bone, smash, relations, whatever you fucking call it

Puwete (Poo-wet) – means “butt”, ass, pillow, butt, ba-donka-donk, 3rd hole, whatever you call it

So-So (Sue-sue) – means “breasts”, tits, fun bags, headlights, whatever you call it

Halik (Hall-ik) – means “kiss”, don’t think I need to explain any further

Puso (Poo-so) – means “heart”, uh huh, I broke your heart, see how you are!!!

Bahala ka Dyan (Bah-ha-la ka da-yon) means “whatever” usually in a pissed off manner, usually not a good thing to hear

Gutom ako (Goo-tome ah-ko) – means “I’m hungry”

Pok-Pok (Poke-Poke) – means “prostitute and or referred to as a bargirl“, this one I don’t agree with, but my wife is very certain of this one. In my eyes and mind there is a clear distinction between a “bargirl” and a “prostitute”(yes mongers have a conscience), but whatever, not my country, haha.

Busog ako (Boo-sog ah-ko) – means “I’m full”, like after you finish your meal, you’re full.

Maldita (Mall-dee-tah) – means “slut or whore”, you get it

Sankopunta (Sahnka- poon-tah) – means like “ hey, where are you going”, like the girl is talking to you, and you just get up and leave, could be good, could be bad

Kainin mo Titi ko (Kah-in-in mo tee-tee ko) – loosely means “blowjob”, always a good thing to ask before you BF

Sip-sip titi ko (Sip-sip tee-tee ko) – means, the same as a blowjob, just a faster way to say it.

Mag bayad kana (Mahg- bah-yahd-kah-nah) – means like “check please”, like how to get your check/bill after you eat your meal or whatever, I usually make like a square in the air, like I’m drawing a square with my fingers in the air, it usually works.

Gustong gusto kita (Goo-stong Goo-stow Key-tah) – means “ I really like you”, you might hear this, you might not, could be real, could be not, but what are we really in AC for, uh-huh?

Gusto talaga kita kantutin (Goo-stow tall-a-gah key-at can-toot-in) - means, “ I really want to fuck you”, always nice to hear, have heard it many times, haha.

Gusto mo ominom (Goo-stow mo omm-in-omm) - means “Do you want a drink”.

And to my favorite saying…..

Kantutan Tayo (Can-toot-tan Thai-yo) – means like “we go fuck now”, haha, so simple, 2 words, hahaha.

Ok, that’s it for that, reading that back, I said “Poo” a lot, bonus points, haha.

That’s it for tonight, and as always – happy mongering and salute!!!

Looks like Club Lollipop will be having a “Lingerie Sunday”, every Sunday this month, here’s what I found out.

I’m Sure You’ll Want To Join All Our Lollipop Ladies, Sunday Night In Lingerie

Be There For Drinks Specials Galore, Reduced Price Shooters, Buy 1 Get 1’s

And Even Reduced Price Diamond Ladies Drinks! Only At Lollipop Bar!!!!!!!!

March 7^th, 2010

For this month’s feature hotel, I’m going with a place my friend Alfred told me about, the Bangkok Hotel.  He has stayed there several trips now and swears to me it’s a great place at a great value.

The Bangkok Hotel is neatly located down on Lower Fields, just across from Club Asia and the Walk-about Hotel.  It is Korean owned, hence the Korean restaurant right out in front of it.  Alfred says the rooms are great, with excellent Wi-Fi for ‘net junkies like him, and the location is perfect for hardcore barhoppers.  At 1,100 pesos, it’s a great value for being situated right where it is.

If you’re a newbie going to AC soon, and you’re not sure where to stay yet, this place is a great option.  You will be right in the thick of the action, not needing to worry much about trikes, and for a budget price that can’t be beat.  Another reason I’m making this my Hotel of the Month is because it also gives me the shameless opportunity to recite one of my favorite Chinese Proverbs:   “Man who walk sideways through turnstile, always going to Bangkok.”

Bangkok Hotel, Angeles City, Philippines

March 6th, 2010

It appears the new Forbidden City is open to the public now (the first opening was a “soft-opening”, to a group of special members)

Here’s some info posted by James a.k.a. “HotRod” from the Lewis Grand Group on Hot-Asia.com:

“FORBIDDEN CITY – OPENING WITH A BIG BANG DOGHOUSE PARTY…

Tonight the Forbidden City opened up it’ s doors to the customers, for the first time ever…. ! 40 members were expected to visit the Doghouse party that was held there… after more then a hundred, the organizers had to close the doors, cause Tequila Reef, who was previously asked to provide the catering (cause at the Lewis Grand Hotel there were several big events, during the whole week and also due to the proximity of the location), prepared 40 plates of food, with an extra 10 in reserve…was overwhelmed with the demand, coming from all the many members of the Doghouse… and the whole Bar was very soon really full with a lot of interested parties from all over… So, this all proves, that the interest in the new Bar was very high and I’ m sure we’ll hear many more good reports (and we’ll see pictures soon) about the new FORBIDDEN CITY!

Good luck guys and all the best! Wish you lots of success and that the new Bar will be as popular as the Dirty Duck has been for the last several weeks and months. Please look out for more info & pictures!”

March 6^th, 2010

I had a newbie member of the Funpage ask me this on YM the other day:  “I’m arriving for my first trip into AC around 1pm next weekend, can I find decent looking talent down on Perimeter Road at that time?” The answer I gave him was “positively yes”.

While the percentage of lookers might not be as great as the Lower Fields late night, you can definitely find some unexpected afternoon gems up on Perimeter.  Here is a recent afternoon line-up shot from Lost-in-Asia Bar.  My eyes aren’t the greatest now, but this group here would even put some Fields Ave bars to shame.  And with cheaper drinks and EWRs, it’s no competition.

Current Lineup at Lost-in-Asia Bar
March 2010

March 5^th, 2010

Starting this month, Treasure Island and Lollipop Bars are offering their loyal customers a “Diamond Ladies Drink Card”.  It’s just like the loyalty cards you get from coffee shops and the like back home.

The deal is simple:  Buy 12 Diamond Ladies Drinks, in either of the 2 bars, and get the 13^th one FREE.  No small print, no exemptions.  While I’m not one to buy a shit-load of LD’s, I could see how this would be a nice little incentive on one of my longer stays in town.   Stop by either of the bars to pick up your own card.

Diamond Ladies Drink Discount Card
Now Available at Lollipop and Treasure Island Bars

March 4th, 2010

If you have a lot of extra time to kill (I mean ALOT of time), you might read through Harry the Horse’s March newsletter.  It’s mostly filled with local ex-pat type of news; stuff that mainly targets the guys living there, but you might find some tid-bits of interest.

March 4th, 2010

I think this video’s title says it all:  “Extremely Cute Girls Dancing in the Philippines”:

March 3^rd, 2010

There has been quite a lot of “buzz” surrounding the 3-story bulk of concrete going up across from Kokomoz the past few months, and now it appears that the time for its opening is finally here.  In case you didn’t know, the Lewis Grand Hotel Group acquired the Dirty Duck bar a lil’ while ago, and since then, it has been one of the most rockin’ clubs on Lower Fields by most accounts; quite a resurgence to its past form after a few years of mediocrity.

This new “mega-bar”, named Forbidden City, is also owned by the LGH group, and will be initially staffed by some of the Dirty Duck girls.  There were also rumors circulating that they were “poaching” some of the hotter girls from various Perimeter bars.  That’s just what we need now, a Tupac-and-Biggie style beef between Perimeter and Fields, haha.

Forbidden City appears to be a big, spacious, show-girl type bar (think Club Atlantis), which is expected to feature choreographed “showgirl” dance routines, following the current prevailing trend by the other “mega-bars”.  Aside from the girl-poaching accusations, some have also criticized the use of a “giant Bhudda statue” decorating the bar’s entrance.

Personally, I don’t give a rat’s ass about political or religious correctness in my third world Asian girlie-bars, but I could understand how some would find that a little questionable.   If you have a problem with it, vote with your feet and stay away; leaves more ass for the rest of us uncouth heathens.

There have also been conflicting reports about the bars exact grand opening date, but according to the latest Doghouse Party schedule, they will have their weekly party at Forbidden City this Saturday, March 6^th.  If anyone is in town then, send us the latest on this place so we can spread the word.

Forbidden City Club
Lower Fields Avenue, Angeles City

March 2, 2010

Bedroom Bully checkin’ in again, well it’s officially official, airline tickets confirmed (gonna take like 2 days to get there!!!) hotel reserved, Pacific Breeze again, that place never does me wrong, good rooms, room service, pool, and it’s a stone throws from the action.  I’m going to kind of continue this post on to add on to my “Cherry Boy Trip” post, some more tips and some things you may see and hear when you go to AC.

First some more tips and advice….

Viagra and Cialis from street vendors – don’t buy it.  There selling like 14 tablets for what, 200 peso’s, REALLY!!!!  Wow, this must be to good to be true, but then again, your in the Philippines, so it must be cheaper here, hmmmmmmmmmm, what to do what to do……..DON”T BUY IT!!!!!!  You have no idea what’s really in those tablets, could be sugar or something someone cooked up in there kitchen, you have no idea what’s in that tablet, it’s not pharmacy grade, it didn’t come from a pharmacy!!!!  I’ve heard horror stories about these pills, from it giving people allergic reactions, to people not waking up the next day, literally, not waking up the next day.

Freelancers – I’m referring to the actual “ladies” that will sometimes harass you, well almost always harass you when you walk by them.  There usually in a little group next to what looks like a little coffee/beer kiosk…..it’s not.  These “ladies” work here for a reason, the bar’s won’t  accept them or they’ve more than likely been kicked out the bars, exiled to the street corners of Field’s and Santos Street.  Also, these “ladies” are most likely not “ladies”, there a mix of bakla’s (gay men that look kind of like women, adam’s apple is a dead give away) and ladyboys, I think you know what ladyboy means, put lady and boy together anatomically and what do you get??? Uh-huh, yikes…..

The local 7-11 – here’s something I always do, the first night or day I get to AC, and many times during my trip, I take an empty backpack and I go to the 7-11 and buy my “supplies”, condoms (though they run small for me) alcohol, I get a bottle of Tanduay, liter of Coke or Iced Tea, some beer, big ol’ bottle of water, and some snacks.  This is a much cheaper way to “supply” yourself while in AC, I usually “pre-game” ( get a little drunk) before I hit the town, this is a much cheaper way to do it.  Also, there is a little market, past the 7-11 on the way up to Margarita’s, you might miss it if your not looking for it, alcohol is actually cheaper in there if you don’t mind the walk.

Trike Drivers – these guys basically work for a Union, and as of late, there prices have gone up.  Always make sure your route, point of destination, and the price is worked out before you get in that trike.  I tell them where I want to go, how I want to get there, and the price, I give them the money, and that’s that.  One thing you don’t want is a pissed off trike driver looking for you over a couple peso’s, trust me, they will find you, they will tell their trike driver friends, and they will find you, trust me, learn from my mistakes, it seemed so trivial and petty to me, but a little money goes a long way here, read my previous posts about “Tipping”.

Religion – DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT, get into a conversation/argument about religion with the girls.  99.99999999% of these girls are devout Catholics, if you speak about religion and it’s not on the same views as there’s, your done, they’ll look at you like the fucking Anti-Christ, like some kind of Devil.  They will basically black-list you, and your trip isn’t much fun after that.

Now onto some things you’ll see and hear while in AC….

Ayoko – means “I don’t like”, you’ve probably just said or done something drunk and stupid

Bastos – means, “bad, mean, not nice, kind of bastardly”

Mens – means “menstruation”, seems like half a damn club is on “mens” sometimes

Load – means the “load” on there cell phone, how much time/txt left on there cell phone

Low-Batt – again refers to there cell phone, battery is low

Mahal – means “love”, can be used in conjunction with you, “mahal kita” I love you, or my love

Asawa – means “wife or husband”

ST - means “short time” some bars have this option, basically you pay for the girls time off, but it’s only a couple hours and she’s gotta be back to the bar

LT - means “long time”, generally you pay her night off of work

EWR – means “Early Work Release”, you pay for that ladies entire night off of work

Kuripot – means “cheap charlie”, cheap with your money, not tipping, etc.

Cherry Girl – means, what it means, this girl still has her virginity

Pogi- means “handsome”

Pogi Points- means doing something or wearing something that makes you even more handsome!

Guwapo – means “handsome”, this is better than cute, I mean teddy bears and puppies are cute, do you want to be called cute?

Pangit – means “ugly”, it is what it is

Maganda – means “beautiful”, pretty self explanatory

CR – means “comfort room, bathroom, shitter, crapper, the head, or whatever you call it

PPD – Post Philippines Depression, it is real, and it needs to be officially declared a real disease by the Surgeon General

“See how you are!!!”- I’ve been told this too many times to remember, in a good way and a bad way, you will hear this one, I promise!!!!

You may/will see what people refer to as the “White Face”, I’m not talking about Yanks, and Europeans, or anyone with a pale complexion.  I’m talking about the bargirls with dark to fair skin, and there face is white as white can get.  You need to understand, that a high percentile of these girls grew up admiring American/Foreign TV/Movies/Singers/Actresses and there entire life they’ve aspired to look “beautiful” like what they see on TV.  These girls have been brainwashed into thinking that white skin is clean, free of disease, cancer, etc.  If you go to the market or SM, and actually look at the beauty/skin products, damn, almost everything has some type of bleaching agent in it, it will surprise you, it did me.

Well that’s all I got for now, as always happy mongering, and salute!

March 2^nd, 2010

If you’ve been to any of these in the past like I have, you know they are a blast.  Food, drinks, music, female boxing and girls galore—-and all in and around the pimped out Angeles Beach Club Hotel swimming pool.    Here’s what you need to know:

Who: You and 100+ Angeles City girls from the Fields & Perimeter Bars

What: Wet & Wild Boxing: Round 4

When: Friday, March 12th, from 12:00 noon to 5:30 p.m.

Where: ABC Hotel Beach Pool

Why: To raise & donate 100% of the profits to the local “Duyan Ni Maria Orphanage”

Cost: P1,000 per person / P500 for ladies

Contact ABC Hotel for any more questions or details.

Wet & Wild Boxing – Round 4
ABC Hotel – March 12th 2010

March 1^st, 2010

Ahh, I always love the 1^st of the month.  A new month means new photo albums here on the Funpage.  First, we have another batch of barhop photos from long-time AC photographer extraordinaire, Don Wong.  In it, you will find ample doses of LBFM tits & ass for your reminiscing pleasure.

For the Girl-of-the-Month, we present a rather popular AC girl named Elsa from AsianHookers.com.  She has been around for a few years now, going from Blue Nile Club in AC, to Wet Spot Bar in Subic and back again.   Aside from her lovely, rich brown skin, she sports one of the nicest sets of natural breasts around.  No, they’re not gargantuan in size, they are simply just “nice” in shape and proportion.   The kind you just wanna grab onto and squeeze.   (I have felt them personally, so I think I’m qualified to say that)

AC Barhop Pics by Don – March 2010
100 Photos

Elsa – Girl of the Month – March 2010
AsianHookers.com